You're 20 so I'm guessing that you have your own place. Don't pick fights with Mom, it won't get you where you want to go. Just prep for one extra person. She took care of you for enough years. For kids or parents just put extra food and supplies away. Everyone else, too bad so sad, you can't prep for the whole world.

 

You're 20 so I'm guessing that you have your own place. Don't pick fights with Mom, it won't get you where you want to go. Just prep for one extra person. She took care of you for enough years. For kids or parents just put extra food and supplies away. Everyone else, too bad so sad, you can't prep for the whole world.

Yeah I will try that, more food and water preps is fine. I don't know about gear or anything though since that's pricey to get just for me.

 

Well, get a job, stay out of debt, and don't argue with Mom. Increase your preps and skills. Maybe Mom would enjoy some prepping, like cooking from scratch, because you know, it's better for your health than all those preservatives. Getting in shape with you, and it might help her pain. Find ways to make it a positive instead of a lecture. No one liked to hear chicken little yell that the sky is gonna fall. It makes people feel better to think that nothing is going to happen. Work on you without lecturing, and things will come into place. Sounds like you've already warned her.

 

Don't fall into the shiney gadget trap, as you said they are expensive. Shelter, Fire, Food, and Water are the most important things in a survival situation, but beyond that Knowledge is what will save you. Knowing how to do things without the shiney dodads such as building a proper shelter, making a fire with out Matches, knowing how to find and use Edible and Medicinal Plants. One other thing that will help is to learn a Skill such as Blacksmithing, Wood working using old fashined Tools, or even advanced First Aid will go a long way towards ensuring you survival in a bad situation.

 

Rice is cheap and you can add anything to it, Like any safe to eat Creature for protein Fat Taste. Water Filtration. Preps don't have to cost too much. Good Knife Ax Hatchet Paracord. Things like that. Sounds like you have some things covered already. As for convincing Mom, SHTF should do that if she makes it. Hunger is a pretty good Foundation for Logic. So Id just back away from the Subject and like others have said "Prep for 2". You know her better than I do, but I feel I have to ask you to ask yourself, "Will I Die Because Of Her and Am I OK With That"? People Change when they cant live the way they are used to and Hope will be Hard to come by. You will Change, I will Change, She Will Change post SHTF. Everything will Change.

 

Yeah I will try that, more food and water preps is fine. I don't know about gear or anything though since that's pricey to get just for me.

You need a camp stove or other way to cook but you don't need two stoves just because you are prepping for her also. The same is true with a Berkley or what ever water filter you choose. You need twice the water storage but the water can come out of the tap. Get the extra food, the rest will sort itself out.

Also, two is one and one is none. You will eventually double up on many things just to have a spare. In a pinch Mom can use your spares.

Forget about converting Mom, the harder you push the more she will dig her heals in.

 

Parents are funny.. especially when it comes to survival and hard times. They probably won't really respect your survival skills and wisdom until you have done what they have done survival wise. Which is basically have a kid and keep them alive for 20 some years and prep them to survive in the everyday world and give them the skills to continue surviving after they have passed.

Respect gets you respect, smarts can just piss other folks off ( eventually, if you really are smart or wise and they maybe try out some of your ideas, smart can sometimes get you respect)... especially when you don't respect the fact that they have brought a life into this world and kept it alive long enough for it to think it is so much smarter than they are.

Whether you know it or not, that is very hard and requires a whole lot of self sacrifice .. ever ask them how many times you almost died growing up? How many times they got you thru a 104+ fever or life threatening diarrhea? ( biggest killer of children) How many times they feared you were so sick or so injured that your continued existence was really in question? Or that you might not fully recover and have a life long disability? How many times their lives turned to crap and times were hard? How many times they weren't sure they would be able to, or couldn't see a clear path to giving you the start in life they hoped to give you? How many times they had to put aside their pride, maybe take some crap job, to make sure you had what your needed to be healthy and happy? How many second jobs? Sometimes just keeping the wheels on, a roof over your head, and three squares, and clothes nice enough your didn't get teased, in average times is tough. Odds are they had to make some heartbreaking choices and sacrifices to provide for you, odds are they had some rough patches in their marriage and had to swallow their pride and make it work to give you the best shot they could, not saying they did, just saying the odds are better than 50/50 they did. You have spent most of your life totally clueless, to more or less clueless, about adult concerns.. chances are they really didn't let a whole lot of bad times in many ways and manifestations ever touch you, and you never had to even notice.

You getting a handle on that reality would be a way to find a starting point to communicate how smart you are.. actually doing it would be impressive to most (grand)parents.

 

Parents are funny.. especially when it comes to survival and hard times. They probably won't really respect your survival skills and wisdom until you have done what they have done survival wise. Which is basically have a kid and keep them alive for 20 some years and prep them to survive in the everyday world and give them the skills to continue surviving after they have passed.

Respect gets you respect, smarts can just piss other folks off ( eventually, if you really are smart or wise and they maybe try out some of your ideas, smart can sometimes get you respect)... especially when you don't respect the fact that they have brought a life into this world and kept it alive long enough for it to think it is so much smarter than they are.

Whether you know it or not, that is very hard and requires a whole lot of self sacrifice .. ever ask them how many times you almost died growing up? How many times they got you thru a 104+ fever or life threatening diarrhea? ( biggest killer of children) How many times they feared you were so sick or so injured that your continued existence was really in question? Or that you might not fully recover and have a life long disability? How many times their lives turned to crap and times were hard? How many times they weren't sure they would be able to, or couldn't see a clear path to giving you the start in life they hoped to give you? How many times they had to put aside their pride, maybe take some crap job, to make sure you had what your needed to be healthy and happy? How many second jobs? Sometimes just keeping the wheels on, a roof over your head, and three squares, and clothes nice enough your didn't get teased, in average times is tough. Odds are they had to make some heartbreaking choices and sacrifices to provide for you, odds are they had some rough patches in their marriage and had to swallow their pride and make it work to give you the best shot they could, not saying they did, just saying the odds are better than 50/50 they did. You have spent most of your life totally clueless, to more or less clueless, about adult concerns.. chances are they really didn't let a whole lot of bad times in many ways and manifestations ever touch you, and you never had to even notice.

You getting a handle on that reality would be a way to find a starting point to communicate how smart you are.. actually doing it would be impressive to most (grand)parents.

Hey pal I know everything about what happened, I have talked to her many times about her past and I know how she was brought up. I also know how she was abused by my father, I know how I grew up without a father and had to learn on my own, I know how I was abused in school by school staff and had my head repeatedly slammed in the floor ever time I chose to stik up for someone or myself, I know how I was beat and thrown around by other kids in school my whole life, I know how I was send off 100+ miles away 3 times because when I turned 10 I started kicking the **** out of those same kids, I know how I died when I was born because my heart stopped and my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, I know how I fractured my neck on the way to school in a bus crash, I know how I have been pore my whole life and how for the past 5 years I live in a house without heat, an empty fridge 80% of the time and not many clothes without holes in them. I have been through wrose **** than she ever has and worse **** than most people ever will, I don't plan on getting anything from nobody. I know many more things that I care not to share on this public forum, so...do not ever..tell me I have lived my life clueless.

 

You need a camp stove or other way to cook but you don't need two stoves just because you are prepping for her also. The same is true with a Berkley or what ever water filter you choose. You need twice the water storage but the water can come out of the tap. Get the extra food, the rest will sort itself out.

Also, two is one and one is none. You will eventually double up on many things just to have a spare. In a pinch Mom can use your spares.

Forget about converting Mom, the harder you push the more she will dig her heals in.

Yeah Lol I'm starting to see that, as for the preps I know I don't need two of everything. I was kinda talking about Armor and other things like that, food and water preps I will be okay with getting not really worried there.

 

Rice is cheap and you can add anything to it, Like any safe to eat Creature for protein Fat Taste. Water Filtration. Preps don't have to cost too much. Good Knife Ax Hatchet Paracord. Things like that. Sounds like you have some things covered already. As for convincing Mom, SHTF should do that if she makes it. Hunger is a pretty good Foundation for Logic. So Id just back away from the Subject and like others have said "Prep for 2". You know her better than I do, but I feel I have to ask you to ask yourself, "Will I Die Because Of Her and Am I OK With That"? People Change when they cant live the way they are used to and Hope will be Hard to come by. You will Change, I will Change, She Will Change post SHTF. Everything will Change.

Thanks I do plan on getting allot more rice, and a Berkey when I can.

 

Well, get a job, stay out of debt, and don't argue with Mom. Increase your preps and skills. Maybe Mom would enjoy some prepping, like cooking from scratch, because you know, it's better for your health than all those preservatives. Getting in shape with you, and it might help her pain. Find ways to make it a positive instead of a lecture. No one liked to hear chicken little yell that the sky is gonna fall. It makes people feel better to think that nothing is going to happen. Work on you without lecturing, and things will come into place. Sounds like you've already warned her.

I don't really know how to make corrupt overpowering government sound positive or explaining things so they sound positive, it's like trying to squeeze water out of a stone since there really isn't anything positive about any type of SHTF. But yes I have warned her..many..many times, kinda done with that though. Just going to prep for two like everyone says and hush about it.

 

Don't fall into the shiney gadget trap, as you said they are expensive. Shelter, Fire, Food, and Water are the most important things in a survival situation, but beyond that Knowledge is what will save you. Knowing how to do things without the shiney dodads such as building a proper shelter, making a fire with out Matches, knowing how to find and use Edible and Medicinal Plants. One other thing that will help is to learn a Skill such as Blacksmithing, Wood working using old fashined Tools, or even advanced First Aid will go a long way towards ensuring you survival in a bad situation.

My Bushcraft is okay so I know how to build a okay shelter without tools, I wouldn't use matches even if I had them (Fire steel is better tbh) there is the bow thing but I would just grab two rocks with enough Iron in them to spark, more practice is better though of course. Some plants I know about but still working on that, as for the advanced first aid I know how to take care of bullet wounds already and how to use a chest seal. So yeah more things to work on, there always will be

 

Hey pal I know everything about what happened, I have talked to her many times about her past and I know how she was brought up. I also know how she was abused by my father, I know how I grew up without a father and had to learn on my own, I know how I was abused in school by school staff and had my head repeatedly slammed in the floor ever time I chose to stik up for someone or myself, I know how I was beat and thrown around by other kids in school my whole life, I know how I was send off 100+ miles away 3 times because when I turned 10 I started kicking the **** out of those same kids, I know how I died when I was born because my heart stopped and my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, I know how I fractured my neck on the way to school in a bus crash, I know how I have been pore my whole life and how for the past 5 years I live in a house without heat, an empty fridge 80% of the time and not many clothes without holes in them. I have been through wrose **** than she ever has and worse **** than most people ever will, I don't plan on getting anything from nobody. I know many more things that I care not to share on this public forum, so...do not ever..tell me I have lived my life clueless.

Sorry we're getting of on the wrong foot here, and sorry you have had a hard life. But I think you are missing my point .. there is a difference between taking care of others and taking care of yourself. I'm not sure what you are asking, given your response. I see two possibilities based on your response and OP.

You say you eventually prove most people wrong about you, why are they so often wrong about you?

Anyway the two possibilities, maybe your mom has been let down too many times to trust promises by people close to her? and maybe you were a handful to raise and caused her problems she didn't need? Or to put it another way, the way your handled some situations growing up was not the way she wanted you to handle them and you chose, for your own good reasons, not to cooperate with her wishes.

Why do you need your mother's or your family's co-operation or consent for you to prep for them? Most preppers have at least a few skeptics that they include in the preps simply because they are family or friends? And do you routinely come across so harsh when somebody trying to help says something that you don't like? That could cause folks you are trying to help to turn away if they get that kind of response when they give their advice/ opinion of the subject to you or don't agree with your assessment of the situation.

Sounds like you had lot of responsibility put on you when you were very young.

 

Number one here; refrain from calling your parent or parents ignorant because in all actuality we are all ignorant in one subject or another; Second surviving a shtf situation requires respect amount the family or group and calling each others names is not going to make a bad situation any better; and Third you can start by buying supplies for more people in this case your parent/parents ,not overspending on advertise junk and learning as much as possible on emergency preps and basic food preparations and preservation ,that way you won`t be ignorant yourself.

 

I completely understand the type of mother you have because mine was the same. My mother hated men, she was a women's liber and I had to listen to her rants all my life about how women are superior to men in every way. Nothing bad that happened to her was ever her fault and in the 78 years she was alive she never once ever said that she was sorry or that she made a mistake. I'm the only male in my family and I became the butt of my mother's and sisters jokes (yes my mother instilled her beliefs into at least one of my sisters). When ever I was sick I was on my own (my mother was always too busy).

BTW I never had a father, he left after my mother kept getting pregnant by other men while he was in Korea.

Now to the important stuff.

Over the years she became very needy, she ended up marring 5 times for short periods until she found out they didn't have any money. So I became the default whenever she needed something. It got to the point that my mother was a part time job for me and when I started to refuse to help she would put a guilt trip on me. I had been married 20 years by this time and my main focus was my family. Eventually she went the worst way she could and tried to break my marriage up by having my former girlfriends at her house whenever I came over to work on something. This was just further proof that she though that all men could be manipulated and are weak willed.

I have always been a prepper even as a kid I would hide food under my bed because there was never any in the house. She even started to consider my prepping a mental illness and she sent me to a therapist. The therapist said I was one of the most mentally health people he as ever had in his office and told me not to come back. He did however gave me a warning that if I let my mother influence my life that I would suffer from depression and that I needed to cut ties to her. This was the best advice I ever got.

Here's the point of my post. Your mother will probably get worse as she ages. Be aware of this. At age 20 it may not be apparent to you yet.

The more I reflect on my upbringing the more I understand why I'am the way I am and why I'm a prepper

 

I'm having a big dilemma here that I have been trying to deal with and could use some advice. ...very very ignorant parent who cannot go one day without thinking everyone else causes her problems, all men are pricks and abusive and that when the SHTF cops and the government is going to save everyone. She doesn't trust me for some reason....

Unfortunately some people are toxic and will suck the life out of you. It would be better for you not to have anything to do with them unless they are family. Toxic family members send them a Christmas card once every year with no return address.

 

N 9TH glad to have you join us, really glad you understand the need to be responsible for you self. You seem to have taken your time in the school of hard knocks and graduated with highest honors.
I have 3 sisters that all grew up with the same parents in pretty much the same circumstances but all three of them have very different ideas about prepping, the oldest one understands the need, and would if it didn't create clutter, having said that she is far more prepared and knowledgeable than 95% of the population. next one is hard core get your $hit together be ready for what ever. the youngest one is the blamer, never her fault. the 2 youngest are very close in age, a year apart in school, so I don't understand the difference in views.
I really don't know what to say about educating your mother, you probably can't, and you may have to consider your own well being, If for example you nurture a MAG, (never IMO try to verbally form one cause it will probably fail, you just need people that you have things and beliefs in common with and preferably have done business with)
People who don't believe in situational responsibility often thing that those that have things should always share with those who don't, In a SHTF situation those who prep, have skills and aren't afraid to work need to stay alive. you can't do that if someone "shared " your food to see you thru to the next harvest.

 

I know that was long but any advice would help, thanks.

November:
As a mom myself, I can hear your frustration that your mom won't get on board with your prepping. I would suggest that you not try to convince her to prep. Rather, you continue your prepping and set a good example for her. Can she cook? Ask her to teach you, in case you have to cook from scratch during the next winter storm when the power goes out. Can she sew? Ask her to teach you so that you can make your clothes last longer and save money. Does she have other skills? Ask her to teach you - but not for some nebulous doomsday event - give real reasons about why you want to master those skills. After a while, she may see that prepping for possible disasters is a very responsible and adult thing to do, and she may get on board that way. You mentioned growing up poor - that is a great reason to want to have extras on hand. That is what got me started, only I didn't realize having extras on hand was "prepping". I went through a period when my kids were very young where we were very poor, and after I was able to break out of the cycle of poverty, I vowed my kids and I would never go hungry again. Of course, that was many years ago, and I prep now for additional reasons. I think you may have luck with your mom if you don't try to convince her to do something she may not yet understand or agree with, but rather bring her into your prep activities by learning from her - and eventually she may get curious enough to want to learn.

Is your mom a reader? There are a lot of fiction and non-fiction books that you could get her that have potential realistic scenarios that lead people to want to be prepared.

Good luck!

 

I'll speak to this from the position of role reversal: I'm the parent of adult children who don't really give a hoot about emergency preparedness.

As others have mentioned, you won't get anywhere by attempting to convert others. People who don't get it...just don't get it. Be respectful and keep the door open just in case Mom's perspective every changes.

In the meantime, as you build up your own preparations, be sure to add extra for Mom. And stand ready to help her if the day ever comes that she needs it.

 

a lot of good points have been made here.trying to get a parent,or someone else on board,and to prep.is somewhat like trying to get them to join a religoues beleive that they dont care for.especilly if you go about it in the wrong way..just like other parents,my mom is set in her ways,and wouldnt belive me when i talk with her about how things are going here in the u.s.,as well to whats going on in other countries as well..matter of fact,she'd think of me as a fool..then i started useing certain preps to help me,to get my point across,when it comes to prepping for what ever everyday situation we have.take power outages for example.we have light during outages.on acount i have flashlights,battery operated lanterns,and oil lamps.the oil lamps and lanterns got used outside after dark,and during family get togeathers.in which they came in very handy each time.i've been able to do other things as well,when it comes to preps.and just to get my point across later on.i'd say something along the lines of.arent you glad i have this now? or id say.you glad i got this prep now? or,im sure glad i had/have this..my mom is now slowly,but surely coming around..bottom line is this.dont push the envelope.make subtle points here n there when a prep has to be used.i save different plastic jars with lids.like peanut butter and miricle whip jars.and i also saved some spice jars.includeing one the finely ground black pepper came in.cinimon and suger is in it now.in which it gets used for cinimon toast.and yes mom loves it.

 

I'll bet her mom or dad went through the depression as a child. If not her grandmother /grandfather did.

Another possibility is to ask her about family history. It might jog her memory of things her parents or grandparents told her. I know mine told me some things that keep coming to mind today. You can do this without mentioning prepping and maybe a light will go on in her head at some point.

My grandmother told me that when she was a little girl they had one bowl of potato soup a day and had to go to bed immediately after eating it so they could get to sleep. If they waited, they could not get to sleep once the hunger set back in.

My dad told me of everyone's family garden in their apartment yard as a kid in Milwaukee.

You should be proud of being awake and aware. Most young people today are not. If you were my son I would be proud of you!

 

Here is my advice about liberal minded family and prepping...

If you can trust them not to tell the world that you prep then add enough supplies, food and water for them to your own preps. It doesn't mean you have to tell them about this or that you even prep but you will have them covered when the time comes.

If they will expect you to do 100% of the labor while they sit on their tush and watch then forget them. That includes parents.

We prep for 6. That includes ourselves, our 2 kids and my folks. We do not prep for any of my husband's family. They would expect us to do every thing for them then bring half the state with them to our door for dinner once SHTF. I'm lucky none of them know where we live!

 

Lots of good stuff here! I love seeing the wisdom of the community expressed like this.

I think it can be much easier to lead some people without telling them where we are going. My mother is a great lady, but she has no motivation for 'prepping'. She is, however, an amazing gardener and cook! Instead of pressuring her to prep, I encourage the growth of her skills. I put back extra supplies that are intended for her to use as part of my own prepping plan. She doesn't even know how important she is to my strategy and it may be a hindrance if she did. It is better to get to a goal than to not get there due to the path being challenged.

 

This is something I've told my prepping friends that have negative relatives, make sure you become well prepared with the thought you may have to feed others, but try to make sure you will only bring in those who will bring something with them, otherwise you will just be a distributor of welfare, which will cause you to go through supplies much faster than you had planed on. Basically I tell them that they may need to write off members of their family to save themselves and ones who add to their survival system, sounds tuff but you need to be realistic of how well you will survive, you may not realize it now, but there may be others that come into your life that you may need to help more than family. My wife and I kind of have that situation now, we have friends that are more family than family members are and they would bring something with them in a shtf situation. Don't get me wrong, we love our families but if and when things go bad, they might drag us down to nothing in a hurry.

 

I have to question the ability of folks to ignore the suffering and possible avoidable death of even the least liked or most aggravating of family members. Even if they are not in the immediate vicinity, most folks are going to worry. You are talking a lot of stress that you can avoid to a garet degree. I would go so far as to ask if helping family, even uncooperative or unproductive family is welfare or duty?

It's going to be hard enough watching children that are complete strangers .. the kind every NGO knows brings in millions in donations on TV commercials, suffer and starve right in front of you... and even more than just being hard hearted, you risk losing a little of your humanity, no matter how justified you may be or feel intellectually.

You can't save everybody, nobody knows how long a shtf will last... but there will always be a few that will die just before the lights come back on, that hind sight will make obvious you could have saved at no risk to your group or self.

I'm not crazy.. but I have set aside supply that is either for outright charity, or I plan to trade away for things I could do without so it doesn't feel like charity. And yes, my situation is probably a little different than some, as I have both the knowledge and resources so that a goodly portion of my food and water can come from wild foraging.

IMHO better to prep with an acceptance that your might be overcome with human empathy in a time of great stress than be able to hold a hard line. Humans put their lives at risk for perfect strangers all the time, in the final analysis that is what we are talking about, and here you will have to live with yourself either way.. you didn't do enough or you did to much , people could die or suffer either way, or anyway despite your best efforts.