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performing monkey
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4,230 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
PepsiCo Inc. is betting that consumers want to "snackify" drinks.

PepsiCo's Tropolis Fruit Puree an Attempt to 'Snackify' Drinks - WSJ.com

:ranton:
Tropolis, the 'new slurrified frut-drink compound'? Tropicana says they've 'drinkified snax'...

They've done what? to who? :eek: This is the END of language! :gaah: Just what kind of [email protected](<!ng twisted comic book supervillain comes up with this shite?

<<cut to undrground lair, with said villain partially hidden in shadow>>
"My name is Dr. Heinrich Umlat VonCrunchberry. I am the foremost expert in digestibly metamorphic simultaneously twin-state materials. Five years ago, I set out to drinkify snacks. What I didn't know, what I could not have foreseen, was that I would also snackify drinks! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
:rantoff:

ok, just had to get THAT out of my system
 

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The wanderer
Joined
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4,350 Posts
The first post I read today, and this is it... Thanks for getting my day started with a smile!

I agree it's frustrating! Geez... :eek: :gaah:

And crazy. :nuts:

Too bad we don't have an "insane" smiley! :surrender:
 

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performing monkey
Joined
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4,230 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
People have a kind of reflexive, ironic kata when it comes to the word Orwellian. I can't blame them completely for this reaction, as the term has been deprecated somewhat by its increasing necessity. But it's not his fault that he was ahead of the game, or that he identified the insidious tendency of organizations to warp language.

If you are not currently insane, PepsiCo's press barrage (see link above) for it's new organic sludge glucose vector will help to encapsulate the sensation. These are real quotes. That is to say, an actual person said these things.

"We see the emerging opportunity to 'snackify' beverages and 'drinkify' snacks as the next frontier in food and beverage convenience," Ms. Nooyi said.

Mehmood Khan, a former Mayo Clinic endocrinologist who heads PepsiCo's nutrition group, said in an interview that "it's outdated to think that snacks are dry and beverages are wet".

And, this may be my favorite:

Researchers who developed Tropolis said the texture has been designed so it would flow out of the pouch openings

Which is good because, I mean, consider the alternative... :eek: I laughed so hard that I began to see spots, I had to consciously hold myself up on my chair to keep from R-ing on the F and duct taped my butt cheeks together so that I didn't L my A off! In twenty years, I wonder if we'll have any language left that isn't based on flavor or texture, if it will be possible to describe any object, event, or emotion without the use of delicious terms like flaky or moist... :gaah:
 
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