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I found an interesting article in my news feeds while doing a few other things today on my computer (between cooking, cleaning, mechanical work, etc) ..

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/glob...inists-so-clueless-about-sex/article26950887/

Why are young feminists so clueless about sex?

A few months ago, a Harvard senior named Reina Gattuso wrote a column in the school newspaper. It described her crummy night of drunken sex with a couple of men she didn't know. "I have so much to drink my memory becomes dark water," she wrote. She freely admitted that she consented. Enthusiastically. And that was the problem. She thought she would enjoy it, but instead she just felt rotten!

Most people might conclude from this experience that random sex with drunken strangers is a poor idea, and Ms. Gattuso really should not try that again. Old-fashioned moralists might even call such behaviour tawdry, degrading and sluttish. Not Ms. Gattuso. And not Rebecca Traister, the New York Magazine writer who wrote about it. To them, the moral of the story is that the world is awash in bad consensual sex. This is due to the persistent power imbalances between women and men. Until we fix this, women cannot be sexually happy. As Ms. Traister argues, "The game is rigged."

Ironically, today's feminists are serious about consent but casual about sex. And to their shock, they've discovered that there's an awful lot of bad sex out there. They did not expect this. They've been told they are supposed to be having a super-positive sex life - unconflicted, joyous, casual and abundant. They've been told they should be able to have as many partners and initiate sex just as often as men do. And they've tried that. And it hasn't worked out very well. Instead of feeling super-positive, they feel sexually dissatisfied, emotionally disconnected and more than a little used.

The surprise is that so many young women are surprised by this. Haven't they watched Girls?

The trouble isn't men, of course. Nor is it the culture. The trouble is that these women have been sold a lie. They've been told that the profound sexual and behavioural differences between men and women are merely matters of individual preference, which would largely dissolve if we ever managed to shed our noxious cultural baggage.

Nothing could be further from the truth, of course. These differences are to a great extent hard-wired. Female sexual desire can be as powerful and urgent as men's. But most women are only able to have good sex with men they feel connected to and trust; for most men, that's not the case. Most women really do not want sex unless it might lead to commitment. Men really do not want to invest a lot of time in women unless it leads to sex. And so it goes. Women's best reproductive strategy is to be selective. Men's best reproductive strategy is to be promiscuous. As Woody Allen once wrote: "Sex without love is an empty experience … But as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."

Eventually men will bond with you, of course, and everything will change, and they will be willing, even eager, to faithfully protect you and your babies. But until that happens you really can't expect much from them.

I know all of this is a cliché. But it's also true. Unfortunately, the emotional, behavioural, hormonal and biochemical differences between the sexes are not taught in sex ed or gender-studies courses because the truth is considered so reactionary. Some people also consider it monstrously unfair to women. Sadly, much in life is unfair. Men can pee standing up. But what can you do?

Many of us learned this stuff the hard way, at the dawn of the feminist revolution. The 1970s were paradise for men. They told us that if we didn't sleep with them we must be unliberated and sexually uptight. I can't tell you how many women swallowed this cow manure before we smartened up.

But now, young women are peddling this manure to themselves. In a world that's already disturbingly oversexualized, they insist that sexual display and promiscuity (dare I use that word?) are synonymous with female empowerment.

These days, in fact, sexual restraint is a sign that something must be wrong with you. Last week, a young woman named Ali Rachel Pearl confessed in an essay in The New York Times that she hadn't had sex for two whole years. She can't really explain why. There was a guy who broke her heart, and so on. It turns out that this strange condition even has a name - "secondary abstinence." As she tells it, her friends are aghast. "How can you go so long?" they ask. "Get rid of your hang-ups." "Be more open." "Stop being afraid." They all feel sorry for her.

It's so old-fashioned - this bizarre notion that maybe you should feel some attachment to the person you are sleeping with. Too old-fashioned for our most progressive and enlightened young women, who, I'm afraid, are in for a world of unnecessary hurt. If only feminists would smarten up about sex, our daughters - and our sons - would be a lot better off.
I am wondering what some of our members on PS think about this article, points to make or discuss.
 

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Interesting article but I certainly do not have any answers. I do know after 30 years of marriage I am glad she still wants to see me naked now and then. I do agree that most women need a reason and most men just need a place.
 

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Well as a female being a teenager in the 70's I have to say that it was sex,drugs and rock and roll hun.
I had the libido of a teenage boy so I had sex when I wanted it. I also was very vocal about how and what I wanted the male to do so I could have the same enjoyment that he got out of it. I was told I was "bossy" in bed but I just laughed at them and shrugged and moved on. To me they were just pissed because they didn't have full control and it hurt their little male pride. whatever. lol
I even had to teach some of them what to do. Poor things. Hopefully the females that came after benefited lol

Not all women are the same. duh. so what works for one woman will not work for or on another. and if a woman is too "scared" to voice her opinion about what she wants and how she wants it done then its her fault that the sex she had wasn't good.

Men aren't mind reader girls. You gotta tell or even show them. You have to take charge of your sexuality. Own it. Enjoy it. Good grief it was so taboo to actually touch yourself unless you were cleaning your body that women didn't even have that enjoyment for the longest time.

I saw an article from over in England where they ask women on the street to identify parts of the woman's anatomy. They didn't even know the names of the parts of the reproductive organs.
Young women actually called them....get this....."lady parts"!!! What the hell???

If you don't know what they're called how can you know what to do with them? and how can you enjoy what they're capable of?

I will say that once I married sex got better as the years went on. We know each other so well that its wonderful every time. Very fulfilling in a steady relationship.
 

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Well as a female being a teenager in the 70's I have to say that it was sex,drugs and rock and roll hun.
I had the libido of a teenage boy so I had sex when I wanted it. I also was very vocal about how and what I wanted the male to do so I could have the same enjoyment that he got out of it. I was told I was "bossy" in bed but I just laughed at them and shrugged and moved on. To me they were just pissed because they didn't have full control and it hurt their little male pride. whatever. lol
I even had to teach some of them what to do. Poor things. Hopefully the females that came after benefited lol

Not all women are the same. duh. so what works for one woman will not work for or on another. and if a woman is too "scared" to voice her opinion about what she wants and how she wants it done then its her fault that the sex she had wasn't good.

Men aren't mind reader girls. You gotta tell or even show them. You have to take charge of your sexuality. Own it. Enjoy it. Good grief it was so taboo to actually touch yourself unless you were cleaning your body that women didn't even have that enjoyment for the longest time.

I saw an article from over in England where they ask women on the street to identify parts of the woman's anatomy. They didn't even know the names of the parts of the reproductive organs.
Young women actually called them....get this....."lady parts"!!! What the hell???

If you don't know what they're called how can you know what to do with them? and how can you enjoy what they're capable of?

I will say that once I married sex got better as the years went on. We know each other so well that its wonderful every time. Very fulfilling in a steady relationship.
Quoted for TRUTH!
 

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I'm sure the brainwashed young feminists don't know much about relationships either.
 

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Feminism is not about empowering women, it's about pitting women against men. Very few women can have a satisfying sex life via a series of one night stands. Most women will end up feeling alone, used & frustrated. If we as parents refuse to instill the truth about sex & the differences between men & women you can bet there's an entire world out there waiting to teach them a lie. I don't understand why talking to your kids about these things is such a big deal.
 

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I had no problem teaching my daughter. when it was time I took her to the clinic and got her , her first exam and information and condoms. I was the one who showed her how to use them and I also told her to get the mantra and use it every time and stand by it : NO Glove, NO Love.

Parents are doing their children a disservice by burying their heads in the sand that their precious teen would never have sex. lol oh yea, they do or are. wake the hell up and get in there. it's the parents job and responsibility to teach and to protect and to care for their children and by not informing them and getting them the information and protection is just ridiculous. they're setting their kids up for pregnancy and disease if they don't. it's built into teens to want to have sex. its biological. used to be people had to start breeding early because life was so hard and death came early. now, you can wait and or use protection.





and any woman who feels alone, used and frustrated after having sex( of any kind) has only herself to blame. I never felt that way. I think I may have left a few guys feeling used in the past and I'm sorry about that but I can't and won't go back to change it. It may have opened their eyes as to what men do. I didn't do it on purpose tho I will say that.
 

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I took a human sexuality class at the college before I had Roo. (I was pregnant with her but did not know it.) I was the oldest student in the class at 30 years old. I was also the only one who was married besides the instructor.

Majority of the class was nothing new to me but I was shocked to see how giggly and flustered the lecture hall got when the instructor lectured on the biological aspects of the reproductive system. He keep pushing we use the correct terms for things because the other students could not get past names like "thing-y" or "woo-hoo". It got so bad the instructor brought in some children's books about "where babies come from" to dumb down the class.

Every week when we had our tests most of us would sit outside the lecture hall on the grass quizzing each other from the text book. Cramming. There would always be that girl making comments that if her mom knew what she was learning she'd get yanked from the class! And there was always that 'boy' who would be crass and say he thought the class was going to be about sex not that he needed any help in that area. :rolleyes:

Even the students that did well on tests didn't pass the class. The final was an essay about the impact of sexuality in our personal lives. Not the act of sex which most of the 'boys' missed completely but intimacy as a form of mental or emotional sex/bonding.

Majority of the students missed the point of the class.

(They also missed that daily the instructor mentioned that washing your genitals wouldn't kill you. A little soap and water can go a long way. I guess that is an issue with the current generation.)
 

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Well as a female being a teenager in the 70's I have to say that it was sex,drugs and rock and roll hun.
I had the libido of a teenage boy so I had sex when I wanted it. I also was very vocal about how and what I wanted the male to do so I could have the same enjoyment that he got out of it. I was told I was "bossy" in bed but I just laughed at them and shrugged and moved on. To me they were just pissed because they didn't have full control and it hurt their little male pride. whatever. lol
I even had to teach some of them what to do. Poor things. Hopefully the females that came after benefited lol

Not all women are the same. duh. so what works for one woman will not work for or on another. and if a woman is too "scared" to voice her opinion about what she wants and how she wants it done then its her fault that the sex she had wasn't good.

Men aren't mind reader girls. You gotta tell or even show them. You have to take charge of your sexuality. Own it. Enjoy it. Good grief it was so taboo to actually touch yourself unless you were cleaning your body that women didn't even have that enjoyment for the longest time.

I saw an article from over in England where they ask women on the street to identify parts of the woman's anatomy. They didn't even know the names of the parts of the reproductive organs.
Young women actually called them....get this....."lady parts"!!! What the hell???

If you don't know what they're called how can you know what to do with them? and how can you enjoy what they're capable of?

I will say that once I married sex got better as the years went on. We know each other so well that its wonderful every time. Very fulfilling in a steady relationship.
Wish you had lived next door to me in the 70's, bossy would have been fine with me.:eek:

I think guys could try a little harder to please their partner, even on drunken one night stands.
 

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(They also missed that daily the instructor mentioned that washing your genitals wouldn't kill you. A little soap and water can go a long way. I guess that is an issue with the current generation.)
okay.....OMG!! :eek:............:facepalm:

I do have to say that my mom would always say that a little soap and water would go a long way when douche commercials would come on tv. :laugh:
I had to explain to her that using some of the contraceptives( spermicide,etc) wouldn't be washed away internally by just soap and water on the outside. but then again she didn't think you should go swimming when on you period :dunno:
 

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but then again she didn't think you should go swimming when on you period :dunno:
In my youth when I was a competitive swimmer I knew a lot of girls that would not go to practice or competitions during that time of the month. I never had any issues then until I was in my mid twenties. Being a swim coach/instructor I had to seriously watch the water around me to make sure I didn't give new meaning to "crimson tide". My how things change as we age...
:brickwall:
 

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Feminism teaches women to be second rate men instead of fist rate women. The notion that a career is the peak goal in life is pure feminist penis envy. Yes. For most men, a career is a way to reliably put food on the table, nothing more. Only a few are able to do something they enjoy enough that they'd do it for free, and only a tiny number of those ever make a "name" for themselves that will be remembered longer than it takes for their seat to grow cold. Ask yourself, if a relative died and left a trust fund that would provide you with $1000/week cash (or whatever you consider a comfortable income), would you continue going to your job? Most men wouldn't. Sure, you'd keep busy doing something, but probably not punching a clock for someone else.

Feminism is an elaborate conspiracy theory that allows unhappy and often mentally ill women to blame their unhappiness on men. It also allow the feminist to feel good about wallowing in hate, like a pig in heat, wallowing in her mire. Feminism has a) eliminated any need for ALPHA males to marry, b) significantly reduced the desirability of marriage for all men, and c) reduced the ability of non-ALPHA males to marry women congruent with their socio-sexual rank. One of the many advantages of multiculturalism is that feminists will finally have the rapists they need to fill their statistics.

Is there any evidence pointing to anything but Feminism being crab basketing writ large? Feminism is about women who are low on the mating desirability scale ruining the chances for attractive young women to have fulfillment. Harpies like these screech: “No woman should be allowed to stay at home to raise her children. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.” (Simone De Beauvoir)
“Children must be seen as the responsibility of an entire society rather than individual parents.” (Document: Declaration of Feminism, p.14)
 

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Feminism teaches women to be second rate men instead of fist rate women. The notion that a career is the peak goal in life is pure feminist penis envy. Yes. For most men, a career is a way to reliably put food on the table, nothing more. Only a few are able to do something they enjoy enough that they'd do it for free, and only a tiny number of those ever make a "name" for themselves that will be remembered longer than it takes for their seat to grow cold. Ask yourself, if a relative died and left a trust fund that would provide you with $1000/week cash (or whatever you consider a comfortable income), would you continue going to your job? Most men wouldn't. Sure, you'd keep busy doing something, but probably not punching a clock for someone else.

Feminism is an elaborate conspiracy theory, p.14)
I am all for any one working & being happy at what they do.
I know of only one thing a woman can not do & that have a baby without a man or part of a man helping out.
Everything else is up to the woman & what she wants to do.

I am one of the guys that work at a good paying job to put food on the table.
I am looking for a way to retire at 60 or 61, live comfortable until I draw SS at 67.
I have a good job, but I would like to do other thing before I die.
 

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Most people don't understand the ramifications of bonding through sex. That bond is strongest with the first one. Each additional partner diminishes the strength of that bond. Eventually it will get to where you don't bond at all. That's why there's so much relationship failure among the under-30 crowd compared to married couples in 1970 when the divorce rate of only 25%. People back then tended to marry right out of high school where people today get married about 10 years later than that. People today are sexually active for years before they get married. That's the problem.
 

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Most people don't understand the ramifications of bonding through sex. That bond is strongest with the first one. Each additional partner diminishes the strength of that bond. Eventually it will get to where you don't bond at all. That's why there's so much relationship failure among the under-30 crowd compared to married couples in 1970 when the divorce rate of only 25%. People back then tended to marry right out of high school where people today get married about 10 years later than that. People today are sexually active for years before they get married. That's the problem.
I never really thought about it but that makes sense. I think the same can be said for how many partners a person proclaims thier love for. To this day I have only said "I love you" to one woman. With the exception of family of course. I can remember the exact moment I first said it.
 

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At least in the original post, the woman in the article did not claim rape. Something that happens A LOT a few days later when the originally consenting person feels wronged or unhappy about the encounter. In the last two months we have taken 9 reports of rape or aggravated sexual assault. 3 the woman was so intoxicated (by choice) that she does not remember if she consented or not (which is technically rape). In 2 of the cases the woman said no and the man had forcible relations with her. In 4 cases the woman claimed she was raped/assaulted but later admitted through voluntary admission or interrogation that she was just disenfranchised by the experience and decided it was his fault and he needed to be punished.

This is also a fathering issue. A young girls perception of males, love and physical comfort come from their fathers. Dad's love to snuggle and cuddle with their little girls right up until they start to become little women, then they tend to shy away. The little women feel something missing and often try to find that love and comfort in the arms of boys pretending to be men. My oldest daughter is out of the house but throughout her life I was willing to hold her hand, hug her every time I saw her and we still cuddled on the sofa from time to time. I made time for her, she could talk to me about anything without guilt or shame and she knew I would support her in everything. Just yesterday in church she came running in and immediately hugged me (for quiet some time). We then sat together and I had my arm around her while holding my wife's hand through the service. Living an hour away I am unable to see her or touch her as often, and when she comes home you can instantly see how much she misses the contact. I tell all of my girls, and have always told my girls, that until the day I give them away to another man, I am all the man that they need in their lives. That I will provide everything that need and nothing that they don't. I have 4 more daughters at home and believe you me snuggling is like a part time job. I tuck everyone of them in at night, I read books, I sing songs, I play Barbie, I color pictures, I hold hands, I carry them on my shoulders, I roll around in the snow and I tell them every chance that I can how much I love them, how valuable they are and how smart they are. As it says in Proverbs 22 "Direct your child onto the right path; when they grow up they will not depart from it".
 

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This is also a fathering issue. A young girls perception of males, love and physical comfort come from their fathers. Dad's love to snuggle and cuddle with their little girls right up until they start to become little women, then they tend to shy away. The little women feel something missing and often try to find that love and comfort in the arms of boys pretending to be men. My oldest daughter is out of the house but throughout her life I was willing to hold her hand, hug her every time I saw her and we still cuddled on the sofa from time to time. I made time for her, she could talk to me about anything without guilt or shame and she knew I would support her in everything. Just yesterday in church she came running in and immediately hugged me (for quiet some time). We then sat together and I had my arm around her while holding my wife's hand through the service. Living an hour away I am unable to see her or touch her as often, and when she comes home you can instantly see how much she misses the contact. I tell all of my girls, and have always told my girls, that until the day I give them away to another man, I am all the man that they need in their lives. That I will provide everything that need and nothing that they don't. I have 4 more daughters at home and believe you me snuggling is like a part time job. I tuck everyone of them in at night, I read books, I sing songs, I play Barbie, I color pictures, I hold hands, I carry them on my shoulders, I roll around in the snow and I tell them every chance that I can how much I love them, how valuable they are and how smart they are. As it says in Proverbs 22 "Direct your child onto the right path; when they grow up they will not depart from it".
I can only imagine how much more beautiful this world would be if more parents were like you and your wife. Bless you for being such excellent parents and examples for your children.

.
 

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I can only imagine how much more beautiful this world would be if more parents were like you and your wife. Bless you for being such excellent parents and examples for your children.

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Quoted for truth.
 

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I had no problem teaching my daughter. when it was time I took her to the clinic and got her , her first exam and information and condoms. I was the one who showed her how to use them and I also told her to get the mantra and use it every time and stand by it : NO Glove, NO Love.

Parents are doing their children a disservice by burying their heads in the sand that their precious teen would never have sex. lol oh yea, they do or are. wake the hell up and get in there. it's the parents job and responsibility to teach and to protect and to care for their children and by not informing them and getting them the information and protection is just ridiculous. they're setting their kids up for pregnancy and disease if they don't. it's built into teens to want to have sex. its biological. used to be people had to start breeding early because life was so hard and death came early. now, you can wait and or use protection.

and any woman who feels alone, used and frustrated after having sex( of any kind) has only herself to blame. I never felt that way. I think I may have left a few guys feeling used in the past and I'm sorry about that but I can't and won't go back to change it. It may have opened their eyes as to what men do. I didn't do it on purpose tho I will say that.
Condoms are a terrible idea. They have a failure rate of 12%. In other words, 12% of couples that use them for birth control will have a pregnancy for every year they're used. That makes them absolutely useless for disease control. It's better not to have sex in the first place if you're not married.
 
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