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Cowboy
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1. Parental "permissiveness" is getting to be pretty much universal, and the parents have no clue to the problems it's going to bring on later, and come back to haunt them....
Sister-in-law is reaping the above with her grandson. She didn't want him to hate her so she said yes to anything he wanted. And no matter what rules she laid down for him, he knew he could break them without suffering the consequences of doing so. Now that the grandson is a teenager she doesn't understand why he turned out the way he did :dunno:
 

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Seeking The Truth
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7,938 Posts
This subject scares me. My wife and I are planning a family here shortly. She isnt pregnant; just planning :).

I find myself wondering how to handle raising a child in todays day and age. My wife and I have been discussing the important values we cherish and the best way to impart the importance of them to our future child through good instruction. We have started making good habits that we feel will be important when we have a child. For example, we are living our lives more on a "family" schedule which isnt always as necessary when its only 2 adults. We are exercising regularly. We turn off the tv and make and enjoy spending time together. This morning we treated ourselves to a (small) chocolate chip pancake and egg breakfast, turned off the morning news, turned on our favorite pandora station and enjoyed the breakfast outside as we just talked and it was wonderful. We have both been busy lately and we both feel those family moments where everyone is present and actually spends fun intimate time together so important. I am fortunate that both of our families are close and absolutely wonderful. We have a lot of qualified people to seeek advice and assistance from. Both of our families are more traditional and we live that way as well.

At the same time I am worried about how to hit the correct balance between the close good family and productive habits with modern things like video games, internet and peers. I want my kid to be happy and successful in their world as well as what I view mine to be. They are going to have to be competent at things I have no use for just to be a part of the world their peers are in. Its certainly going to be a challenge and I know we will make mistakes along the way but Ill be damned if I raise a snowflake. I owe my child better than that. We are doing our best to prepare ourselves and our lives correctly to have a family we can be proud of.
CBL - Wife and I are in the same boat as you with some planned kids coming up. Good to hear we aren't the only future parents that are concerned about finding a good balance between our values and society!

I often think about the Amish lately and how they raise their kids. During Rumspringa, the kids do whatever they want. Those that rejoin the family and church do so voluntarily and so have a very strong commitment to Amish values...but only around 30-40% actually rejoin.

Wife and I wouldn't go near that far, but it's an interesting data point if nothing else.
IMO if yall want kids have kids. We never know for sure what the future holds. It is a scary world fro sure but don't let that stop you.
 
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