Never Go Anywhere Without Your Zucchini.

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by HarleyRider, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. HarleyRider

    HarleyRider Comic Relief Member

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    "FRENCHTOWN, Mont. — Police say a Montana woman used an unlikely weapon to fend off a charging bear — a zucchini.


    Missoula County Sheriff's Lt. Rich Maricelli says a 200-pound black bear attacked the woman's 12-year-old collie just after midnight Wednesday on the back porch of her home about 15 miles west of Missoula.
    When the woman, whom police did not name, screamed to draw the bear's attention, it charged her and swiped at her leg.
    Maricelli says the woman jumped back into the doorway and reached for the nearest object on her kitchen counter — a 12-inch zucchini from her garden.

    The woman flung the vegetable at the bear, striking it on top of the head and causing it to flee.
    Maricelli says the woman did not need medical attention. Wildlife officials were trying to locate the bear on Thursday."


    Hey Gypsysue... this wasn't you, was it?? :eek::eek: :D
     
  2. horseman09

    horseman09 Well-Known Member

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    So, the woman didn't need medical attention, but did the bear? You get hit in the head with a 12 zucchini flung by a really pi$$ed GypsieSue, and lemme tell ya, your gonna need medical attention. GS should be ashamed. That poor little bear is probably laying out in the woods suffering from a severe concussion. :D
     

  3. The_Blob

    The_Blob performing monkey

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    ya'all need to make a demotivational poster with a woman (preferably in a mumu, don't ask me why, I just think mumus are funny) swinging a HUGE zucchini with the caption...

    PREPPERS: THEY THROW ZUCCHINIS

    :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash: :lolsmash:
     
  4. Jason

    Jason I am a little teapot

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    How would one make a sheath for a zucchini? And do you need a permit to concealed carry one?
     
  5. gypsysue

    gypsysue The wanderer

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    12" zucchini? Who picks them so small? lol Nah, wasn't me, I'd have grabbed the bear by the shoulders and scolded it-- "BAD BEAR!" and it would have slunk away!

    The bears have been thick this year. This time of year they come down into the towns looking for things to eat so they can fatten up before they go into their dens for the winter. Lots of fruit trees, small animals (chickens, little dogs), and other good stuff to eat. Fish & Game trapped 5 just last week, to move to remote areas.

    One guy heard a rattle and stepped out onto his back deck and saw a bear licking the grate of his barbeque grill! It had opened the grill and removed the rack.

    I always smile when I hear animal rights people saying "well, it was their home first". Every place folks live used to be some animal's home. What animals were indiginous to Denver? San Fransicso? New York? Chicago? Maybe we shoulid be reintrodusing bears and wolves and things like that in THEIR neighborhoods as well!

    Anyway, I need a test subject so I can see what size zucchini I should use, and how hard to fling it...Hozay, are you still in Montana? :)
     
  6. horseman09

    horseman09 Well-Known Member

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    GS, I always said if I ever become a US representative (don't hold your breath -- politics is too dirty for me) I'd introduce legislation to re-introduce the Massassaga Rattlesnake to Washington DC. I'd use the very same argument tree huggers used to re-introduce the timberwolf to the west.