Joke of the day...

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by bunkerbob, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. bunkerbob

    bunkerbob Supporting Member

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    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies

    "There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart.

    He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results... He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .

    The computer prints the following:



    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

    :2thumb::2thumb:
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2010
  2. UncleJoe

    UncleJoe Well-Known Member

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    :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

    We need a new smiley. There isn't one to express LMAO. :D
     

  3. Jason

    Jason I am a little teapot

    2,696
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    Obama was in a meeting with his top cabinet officials. He asked how the war in the middle east was progressing and an official said that 2 Brazillian soldiers were killed in action that day. Obama, teary eyed, cupped his head in his hands, and said, "Oh my God...this is horrible. How many are in a brazillian?
     
  4. ditzyjan56

    ditzyjan56 Well-Known Member

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    You guys kill me:D

    An old man and his wife decided to dress up for Halloween.

    The old lady gets dressed first and she comes out of the bathroom with just a lemon tied between her legs.

    The old man gets dressed next and comes out with a potato tied between his legs.

    The old women says. What are you doing?

    He says if you can dress up as a sour puss, I can go as a dictator