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Partyin' like it's 1699
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Sigh. I'll be the first to say I am really sick of hearing this phrase. Now I'm hearing it from a friend who is about to put herself in a dangerous situation, all the while proudly announcing that it's "In God's Hands" and we're all supposed to hope for the best but do nothing to even try to get her to change her mind. I think this kind of blind faith is stupid at best and dangerous at worst.

I do not believe God expects us to sit idly by and do nothing for ourselves. He gave us brains for a reason-we're supposed to USE THEM. Crazy example-Someone approaches you on the street and starts attacking you. Do you just stand there and say "Oh well it's in God's hands!" or do you defend yourself with every resource you have available to you and fight back?

I fear for my friend's safety, and there is nothing else I really can do now except to leave it in God's hands. :(
 

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The wanderer
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Wow, OFM, sorry about your friend. I hope your fears for her safety aren't life-or-death. It's hard when people we care about make decisions that we worry will hurt them.

Does she feel overwhelmed, or maybe unsupported, and perhaps that's why she's making the decision she's making? Maybe she doesn't think she could cope with whatever it is would be better for her.

Maybe she doesn't know the other options? Are people just saying "you should Do something", or are they giving her possible options for the situation? Are they options she would be capable of implementing?

I could be way out of the ball park with my guessing. I had a friend who went to her grave at age 42 because she didn't think she could face Chemo (she might have died anyway). She didn't want to fight it, just gave up and said those chilling words, "It's in God's hands." Of course, when it was too late, she became angry at God. Apparently she didn't really believe He would let her die.

You're in a hard spot. I hope God gives you the strength and courage to be there for your friend, and the wisdom to help her, and that she'll come around.
 

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I am a little teapot
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I don't claim to be exceptionally religious to begin with, but I'm not about to discount the existance of a higher power either. That said, it bugs me to no end when people use their faith as a crutch. Saying that God will save me, I don't need a doctor, or to watch my money, or lock my doors, or whatever, is bunk. If there is a God, He/She/Whatever did not allow life to evolve on this forsaken rock of a planet to the point where we can THINK ON OUR OWN to better ourselves and our world, in order for us to just say it's in God's hands. We can cure disease, split the atom, recognize the poor judgements of our past in regards to fossil fuel dependence, feed the poor, tend animals and plants to meet our needs, and teach our children, and I for one feel that MY life is in MY hands. Does God affect decisions I make? Sometimes. Do I think God will directly prevent me from ruining my own life with bad decisions? Not one bit. I don't expect to see a burning bush pop up and tell me to remain faithful to my wife. I choose to do that because I love her and I believe that that's the right thing to do. The brain that a higher power may or may not have given me makes those desisions. I do pray sometimes and I feel a certain peace when I walk alone in the woods like I'm not really by myself, but I'm not totally convinced, either.

Just my 2 cents.

OFM, I wish you the best with your friend. Sounds like a heck of a situation.
 

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Reverend Coot
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3,848 Posts
God helps them what helps themselves my grandma used ta say.

I always figeured grandma was a perty smart lady, never finished school yet she taught school. She wasn't a real religous person, but I think she had a perty good understandin with whom er whatever there be.

Bout all ya can do is talk with yer friend an express yer concerns, after that, it be upta her what she does.

Good luck.
 

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Partyin' like it's 1699
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216 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Wow, OFM, sorry about your friend. I hope your fears for her safety aren't life-or-death. It's hard when people we care about make decisions that we worry will hurt them.

Does she feel overwhelmed, or maybe unsupported, and perhaps that's why she's making the decision she's making? Maybe she doesn't think she could cope with whatever it is would be better for her.

Maybe she doesn't know the other options? Are people just saying "you should Do something", or are they giving her possible options for the situation? Are they options she would be capable of implementing?

I could be way out of the ball park with my guessing. I had a friend who went to her grave at age 42 because she didn't think she could face Chemo (she might have died anyway). She didn't want to fight it, just gave up and said those chilling words, "It's in God's hands." Of course, when it was too late, she became angry at God. Apparently she didn't really believe He would let her die.

You're in a hard spot. I hope God gives you the strength and courage to be there for your friend, and the wisdom to help her, and that she'll come around.
Unfortunately they can be life or death. She is 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant with her first child and has agreed to allow her OB to induce her on Saturday. There have not been any major complications during her pregnancy, she is young and healthy. I suspect her OB is pulling the old "baby is too big" card and scaring her into this.

I've BEEN on Pitocin. I KNOW what it does. But for her to not even be 40 weeks...I think it is insanely dangerous. Pitocin is well known to cause uterine rupture which can lead to uncontrollable hemorrhage.

Furthermore, between 38-42 weeks is normal, and you are not "late" unless you pass 42 weeks gestation. Judging the size of the baby based on ultrasound can be as much as 5 pounds over what the baby really weighs. 40 weeks might be okay for one baby, but be too early for another-in my case 40 weeks was a little late, both of my boys were born at 40wks, 1 day and showed signs of "lateness"-long fingernails, wrinkly skin, "clean" at birth (very little amniotic fluid residue) My daughter was born at 38wks, 4 days and did not show "late" signs.

I gently encouraged her to trust God and to have faith in His plan and most importantly in His design-as I am a firm believer that women were divinely created to bear children, and when the childbirth process is not hindered or interfered with, 99.99999% of the time mother and child have healthy outcomes. I am regretting at this late hour not providing her with more information early on. The best I can hope for is for her labor to start naturally tonight or tomorrow. Inductions have such a high failure rate.....i can see her on the operating table :cry: I can't stand to think of her going through what I went through the first time. Normal contractions are one thing-Pitocin is totally another.... I'm glad I don't know who her OB is-most of the ones around here I'd like to punch in the face....
 

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The wanderer
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Yikes, and the more they intervene, the more likely she is to end up with a c-section, not to mention the rupture possibility you mentioned.

Gee, if she'd just wait that extra week, nature would probably take it's course. Keep gently encouraing her. At this point she may be more interested in "getting it over with" than waiting it out. I remember how miserable and anxious those last weeks were!

Is this her first baby?

Please, keep us posted. We're rooting for you, and for her and her baby!
 

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Rookie Prepper
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Sorry to hear this.

Help me understand. She says letting the OB induce labor is putting it in God's hands? I'd think the exact opposite would be putting it in God's hands.
 

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Reverend Coot
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That baby will come when it's darn well ready to! Shouldn't be in there fussin with it. My newest granddaughter what be 3 weeks old came in a whoppin 10Lbs 3 Ozs! Everthing wen't just fine. That doctor is "planning" to have that baby at his convienince, not the babbies.
 

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Partyin' like it's 1699
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216 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
She has a female OB. That's supposed to be better but this woman clearly follows all the standard nonsense her male colleagues do. And you are right, they try to force patients into delivering on "their schedule".

I know that my friend has had several appointments and additional tests-for what exactly Im not sure. She developed inferior vena cava syndrome about a month ago-which sounds worse than what it actually is-I had it with all 3 of my kids. Basically the baby pushes on that artery, and it can make you short of breath or even a little dizzy. The doctor had her do stress tests and banned her from driving. She has never told me that her sugars or blood pressure were problematic-I have two other friends who had gestational diabetes and gestational hypertension and were induced because those truly are good reasons for that kind of intervention. Even my midwife would drop clients who had those conditions because they have to be monitored by doctors. I just see no reason for this...

I know what hospital she is going to deliver in. I went to this same hospital when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had a moderate case of hyperemesis and needed some IV fluids and phenergan to stop me from throwing up. I commented to a nurse "Must be a slow day. It's very quiet up here." Her reply to me was "Our beds are nearly full today. We keep the ladies comfortable here I couldn't wait to get out of there!

Dialogue between the expectant mother and care provider has so much to do with outcomes. Way back when I had an OB, I let him know at the first appointment that I was not consenting to anything I felt was unnecessary, he was not allowed to do any internal exams (a rule that ended up being horribly violated by a rotating OB who used an amniohook and broke my water without my consent) and that I didn't care if I was in labor for a week he was NOT doing a C section. I was lucky that he took me seriously. My friend....I can't even think about what they will do to someone who is so quick to go along with things.

Off to Facebook to see if anything is happening..... :cry:
 

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Partyin' like it's 1699
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Well, no word yet. She sent a text around 9 last night, induction was at 6am this morning. I haven't prayed this much in years...
 

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The wanderer
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We're on the edges of our seats, waiting for news... (and praying for your friend and her baby!)
 

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Partyin' like it's 1699
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Discussion Starter · #13 · (Edited)
Baby is here. Born about two hours ago, 7lbs 12oz. Everyone is healthy and fine, no other details right now. If she delivered naturally, that would have been approx. 24 hours of labor if you start from the time of induction. however it also could be much shorter if she wasn't in active labor yeet at the time she sent the text message. I hope I am right about this, but I don't think she had a c-section. :D I also hope she feels well enough to get the heck out of there and go home. No one needs to be hanging around a hospital with MRSA and all that. (conversely, if she does need more time to recover I hope they allow her to stay. They tossed me out after 48 hours and I was nowhere near ready to be home. I had to borrow my Grandma's walker from her knee surgery because I was unable to walk for a week.)

I'll give her a call in a few days. I have some gifts for her, along with a few of my old La Leche League books. Unfortunately our local LLL disbanded a few years ago, and they were AMAZINGLY helpful when I had my first child. The lactation consultants at the hospitals are hit or miss with their advice, most of them are older RN's who just took the extra classes to get certification and make extra money. Many of them never breastfed their own kids :rolleyes: I don't worry as much about my friend though. She just graduated last year with a degree in family and consumer science and has been a nanny for many years to two different families-lots of experience with little ones. Still, should a problem come up time is of the essence, and there's not a whole lot of people around here anymore who know how to help.
 

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The wanderer
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Thanks for the update! I hope she recovers quickly.

You didn't say...boy or girl?
 

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Partyin' like it's 1699
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216 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks for the update! I hope she recovers quickly.

You didn't say...boy or girl?
An adorable little boy! They found out a long time ago-had a 3D ultrasound done so we kind of already knew what we was going to look like. I really hope its her husband that posted the facebook updates-the responses are ridiculous-my email inbox is going to blow up LOL! Really glad I wasn't on facebook when I had my kids-not sure I'd want to be bothered with reading everyone's comments LOL! I'm not going to call her for a few days or so. I hope she's got her phone turned off, or at least other people are giving her and her husband some space. It was a regular 3-ring circus when we had our first baby, followed by the revolving door of visitors. I hated every second of that and just wanted to be left alone.
 
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