a lot of good points have been made here.trying to get a parent,or someone else on board,and to prep.is somewhat like trying to get them to join a religoues beleive that they dont care for.especilly if you go about it in the wrong way..just like other parents,my mom is set in her ways,and wouldnt belive me when i talk with her about how things are going here in the u.s.,as well to whats going on in other countries as well..matter of fact,she'd think of me as a fool..then i started useing certain preps to help me,to get my point across,when it comes to prepping for what ever everyday situation we have.take power outages for example.we have light during outages.on acount i have flashlights,battery operated lanterns,and oil lamps.the oil lamps and lanterns got used outside after dark,and during family get togeathers.in which they came in very handy each time.i've been able to do other things as well,when it comes to preps.and just to get my point across later on.i'd say something along the lines of.arent you glad i have this now? or id say.you glad i got this prep now? or,im sure glad i had/have this..my mom is now slowly,but surely coming around..bottom line is this.dont push the envelope.make subtle points here n there when a prep has to be used.i save different plastic jars with lids.like peanut butter and miricle whip jars.and i also saved some spice jars.includeing one the finely ground black pepper came in.cinimon and suger is in it now.in which it gets used for cinimon toast.and yes mom loves it.
How do you deal with ignorant parents?
I'm having a big dilemma here that I have been trying to deal with and could use some advice. I'm 20 (Yeah I get it the young inexperienced guy..yada yada yada) and I have a very careing but also very very ignorant parent who cannot go one day without thinking everyone else causes her problems, all men are pricks and abusive and that when the SHTF cops and the government is going to save everyone. She doesn't trust me for some reason even though my whole life I have proven everyone wrong about what they think of me, I'm not super smart but when next to family members and the people that live in my area I stand out and I'm much more politically educated than them by far. I'm the only one in my area that I know of that has a prepper mindset, I know how to handload, Bushcraft, clean water (In more than 2 ways), how to decontaminate myself and others from radiation and many other things so even though I'm 20 I'm not a newbe since prepping is kinda what I do for fun. I'm going to be okay when SHTF (After I find some prepping friends) but the only thing I don't know what to do about is family and parents. :dunno:
I live in New York (Yes the communist state Lol) so even though most of my family voted for Trump and has a bit of sense they still have that built in sense of safety from government and they don't belive anything could happen on the real life scale I talk about. Sure some understand if the power went off in the winter we would be cold and all of that but as for anything that lasts more than a month they just can't think of it. My mom is in her 50s and besides being stubborn as a mule I don't know if she could handle travel in a SHTF situation even if she had to. I'm a big guy and I know it would be hard for me too but I'm going to just be able to sleep stuff off most of the time, I don't think she could do that since she deals with pain allot (She says she does at least, idk if it's exaggerated or not).
It might seem like a simple choice but since it's my mom it's not.
And for the people who say just talk to her about it, that doesn't work. It just turns into yelling and nothing gets done. So not an option, most preppers I think would understand that some people won't change until it happens.
I know that was long but any advice would help, thanks.
I live in New York (Yes the communist state Lol) so even though most of my family voted for Trump and has a bit of sense they still have that built in sense of safety from government and they don't belive anything could happen on the real life scale I talk about. Sure some understand if the power went off in the winter we would be cold and all of that but as for anything that lasts more than a month they just can't think of it. My mom is in her 50s and besides being stubborn as a mule I don't know if she could handle travel in a SHTF situation even if she had to. I'm a big guy and I know it would be hard for me too but I'm going to just be able to sleep stuff off most of the time, I don't think she could do that since she deals with pain allot (She says she does at least, idk if it's exaggerated or not).
It might seem like a simple choice but since it's my mom it's not.
And for the people who say just talk to her about it, that doesn't work. It just turns into yelling and nothing gets done. So not an option, most preppers I think would understand that some people won't change until it happens.
I know that was long but any advice would help, thanks.
21 - 40 of 54 Posts
I'll bet her mom or dad went through the depression as a child. If not her grandmother /grandfather did.
Another possibility is to ask her about family history. It might jog her memory of things her parents or grandparents told her. I know mine told me some things that keep coming to mind today. You can do this without mentioning prepping and maybe a light will go on in her head at some point.
My grandmother told me that when she was a little girl they had one bowl of potato soup a day and had to go to bed immediately after eating it so they could get to sleep. If they waited, they could not get to sleep once the hunger set back in.
My dad told me of everyone's family garden in their apartment yard as a kid in Milwaukee.
You should be proud of being awake and aware. Most young people today are not. If you were my son I would be proud of you!
Another possibility is to ask her about family history. It might jog her memory of things her parents or grandparents told her. I know mine told me some things that keep coming to mind today. You can do this without mentioning prepping and maybe a light will go on in her head at some point.
My grandmother told me that when she was a little girl they had one bowl of potato soup a day and had to go to bed immediately after eating it so they could get to sleep. If they waited, they could not get to sleep once the hunger set back in.
My dad told me of everyone's family garden in their apartment yard as a kid in Milwaukee.
You should be proud of being awake and aware. Most young people today are not. If you were my son I would be proud of you!
Here is my advice about liberal minded family and prepping...
If you can trust them not to tell the world that you prep then add enough supplies, food and water for them to your own preps. It doesn't mean you have to tell them about this or that you even prep but you will have them covered when the time comes.
If they will expect you to do 100% of the labor while they sit on their tush and watch then forget them. That includes parents.
We prep for 6. That includes ourselves, our 2 kids and my folks. We do not prep for any of my husband's family. They would expect us to do every thing for them then bring half the state with them to our door for dinner once SHTF. I'm lucky none of them know where we live!
If you can trust them not to tell the world that you prep then add enough supplies, food and water for them to your own preps. It doesn't mean you have to tell them about this or that you even prep but you will have them covered when the time comes.
If they will expect you to do 100% of the labor while they sit on their tush and watch then forget them. That includes parents.
We prep for 6. That includes ourselves, our 2 kids and my folks. We do not prep for any of my husband's family. They would expect us to do every thing for them then bring half the state with them to our door for dinner once SHTF. I'm lucky none of them know where we live!
Lots of good stuff here! I love seeing the wisdom of the community expressed like this.
I think it can be much easier to lead some people without telling them where we are going. My mother is a great lady, but she has no motivation for 'prepping'. She is, however, an amazing gardener and cook! Instead of pressuring her to prep, I encourage the growth of her skills. I put back extra supplies that are intended for her to use as part of my own prepping plan. She doesn't even know how important she is to my strategy and it may be a hindrance if she did. It is better to get to a goal than to not get there due to the path being challenged.
I think it can be much easier to lead some people without telling them where we are going. My mother is a great lady, but she has no motivation for 'prepping'. She is, however, an amazing gardener and cook! Instead of pressuring her to prep, I encourage the growth of her skills. I put back extra supplies that are intended for her to use as part of my own prepping plan. She doesn't even know how important she is to my strategy and it may be a hindrance if she did. It is better to get to a goal than to not get there due to the path being challenged.
This is something I've told my prepping friends that have negative relatives, make sure you become well prepared with the thought you may have to feed others, but try to make sure you will only bring in those who will bring something with them, otherwise you will just be a distributor of welfare, which will cause you to go through supplies much faster than you had planed on. Basically I tell them that they may need to write off members of their family to save themselves and ones who add to their survival system, sounds tuff but you need to be realistic of how well you will survive, you may not realize it now, but there may be others that come into your life that you may need to help more than family. My wife and I kind of have that situation now, we have friends that are more family than family members are and they would bring something with them in a shtf situation. Don't get me wrong, we love our families but if and when things go bad, they might drag us down to nothing in a hurry.
I have to question the ability of folks to ignore the suffering and possible avoidable death of even the least liked or most aggravating of family members. Even if they are not in the immediate vicinity, most folks are going to worry. You are talking a lot of stress that you can avoid to a garet degree. I would go so far as to ask if helping family, even uncooperative or unproductive family is welfare or duty?
It's going to be hard enough watching children that are complete strangers .. the kind every NGO knows brings in millions in donations on TV commercials, suffer and starve right in front of you... and even more than just being hard hearted, you risk losing a little of your humanity, no matter how justified you may be or feel intellectually.
You can't save everybody, nobody knows how long a shtf will last... but there will always be a few that will die just before the lights come back on, that hind sight will make obvious you could have saved at no risk to your group or self.
I'm not crazy.. but I have set aside supply that is either for outright charity, or I plan to trade away for things I could do without so it doesn't feel like charity. And yes, my situation is probably a little different than some, as I have both the knowledge and resources so that a goodly portion of my food and water can come from wild foraging.
IMHO better to prep with an acceptance that your might be overcome with human empathy in a time of great stress than be able to hold a hard line. Humans put their lives at risk for perfect strangers all the time, in the final analysis that is what we are talking about, and here you will have to live with yourself either way.. you didn't do enough or you did to much , people could die or suffer either way, or anyway despite your best efforts.
It's going to be hard enough watching children that are complete strangers .. the kind every NGO knows brings in millions in donations on TV commercials, suffer and starve right in front of you... and even more than just being hard hearted, you risk losing a little of your humanity, no matter how justified you may be or feel intellectually.
You can't save everybody, nobody knows how long a shtf will last... but there will always be a few that will die just before the lights come back on, that hind sight will make obvious you could have saved at no risk to your group or self.
I'm not crazy.. but I have set aside supply that is either for outright charity, or I plan to trade away for things I could do without so it doesn't feel like charity. And yes, my situation is probably a little different than some, as I have both the knowledge and resources so that a goodly portion of my food and water can come from wild foraging.
IMHO better to prep with an acceptance that your might be overcome with human empathy in a time of great stress than be able to hold a hard line. Humans put their lives at risk for perfect strangers all the time, in the final analysis that is what we are talking about, and here you will have to live with yourself either way.. you didn't do enough or you did to much , people could die or suffer either way, or anyway despite your best efforts.
I think if you are a Christian, then it is your duty to help your parents and your family. Even if they are a pain in the butt.
Actually AmishHeart almost any of the world's major religions.. Some say it was denying safety and hospitality to strangers was the basic sin at Sodom and Gomorrah.
But beyond religion, in most cultures there are hospitality laws that developed because they were very survival oriented and designed to offset the weaknesses of the small group and survival, not just food, but where you could find mates for your children to prevent interbreeding. Formal rules of hospitality often have a deterrent to local small scale wars.
We ignore these customs at our own peril .. they are, in some cases the "wisdom of the ancients", in other cases the Will of God.
Strategically they can provide access to a larger pool of talents at a very low cost of resources and they are, 99% of the time, mutual.
In any serious examination of self sufficiency, beyond just basic hard scrabble survival, you really don't see self sufficiency in a group smaller than a tribe, or the local Fife and the lord and peasants, or plantation , or town .. and even then thru trade with the next tribe over. You might say it turns stealing horses or watermelons from the other town , within limits, more a football game that a war.
In the whole world gone to hellinahandbasket TEOTWAWKI, community is the first step back, and that means aligning/cooperating/working/trading with local groups nearby.
Further http://biblehub.com/leviticus/23-22.htm http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/24-19.htm
and this https://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/poor.htm
But beyond religion, in most cultures there are hospitality laws that developed because they were very survival oriented and designed to offset the weaknesses of the small group and survival, not just food, but where you could find mates for your children to prevent interbreeding. Formal rules of hospitality often have a deterrent to local small scale wars.
We ignore these customs at our own peril .. they are, in some cases the "wisdom of the ancients", in other cases the Will of God.
Strategically they can provide access to a larger pool of talents at a very low cost of resources and they are, 99% of the time, mutual.
In any serious examination of self sufficiency, beyond just basic hard scrabble survival, you really don't see self sufficiency in a group smaller than a tribe, or the local Fife and the lord and peasants, or plantation , or town .. and even then thru trade with the next tribe over. You might say it turns stealing horses or watermelons from the other town , within limits, more a football game that a war.
In the whole world gone to hellinahandbasket TEOTWAWKI, community is the first step back, and that means aligning/cooperating/working/trading with local groups nearby.
Further http://biblehub.com/leviticus/23-22.htm http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/24-19.htm
and this https://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/poor.htm
I agree except when it comes to those that would do harm to my children or myself. This would be K's family. I refuse to put my family at risk helping people that would take everything even if they did not work for it. K knows this and understands. His family would take from those with nothing just to appease their own grumbling guts even if it meant letting children(even their own) starve. They don't like me or my children so they would have no problem doing this to us.I think if you are a Christian, then it is your duty to help your parents and your family. Even if they are a pain in the butt.
One of the reasons we have not had contact in 3 years.
AmmoS...sounds like you've read some Marvin Harris. If not, then you should.
2 Thessalonians 3:10 KJVI think if you are a Christian, then it is your duty to help your parents and your family. Even if they are a pain in the butt.
For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
Wow holy crap!I completely understand the type of mother you have because mine was the same. My mother hated men, she was a women's liber and I had to listen to her rants all my life about how women are superior to men in every way. Nothing bad that happened to her was ever her fault and in the 78 years she was alive she never once ever said that she was sorry or that she made a mistake. I'm the only male in my family and I became the butt of my mother's and sisters jokes (yes my mother instilled her beliefs into at least one of my sisters). When ever I was sick I was on my own (my mother was always too busy).
BTW I never had a father, he left after my mother kept getting pregnant by other men while he was in Korea.
Now to the important stuff.
Over the years she became very needy, she ended up marring 5 times for short periods until she found out they didn't have any money. So I became the default whenever she needed something. It got to the point that my mother was a part time job for me and when I started to refuse to help she would put a guilt trip on me. I had been married 20 years by this time and my main focus was my family. Eventually she went the worst way she could and tried to break my marriage up by having my former girlfriends at her house whenever I came over to work on something. This was just further proof that she though that all men could be manipulated and are weak willed.
I have always been a prepper even as a kid I would hide food under my bed because there was never any in the house. She even started to consider my prepping a mental illness and she sent me to a therapist. The therapist said I was one of the most mentally health people he as ever had in his office and told me not to come back. He did however gave me a warning that if I let my mother influence my life that I would suffer from depression and that I needed to cut ties to her. This was the best advice I ever got.
Here's the point of my post. Your mother will probably get worse as she ages. Be aware of this. At age 20 it may not be apparent to you yet.
The more I reflect on my upbringing the more I understand why I'am the way I am and why I'm a prepper
You delt with all of that better than I could have, I'm sorry that happened to you. I do know the kinda woman you're talking about though, I have seen a few in my short life span so far. Thankfully my mom isn't quite that bad, the only same trait she has to your mom is how she always thinks she is right and never really says sorry, then when she does it's over something dumb when she didn't need to LolThanksI'll bet her mom or dad went through the depression as a child. If not her grandmother /grandfather did.
Another possibility is to ask her about family history. It might jog her memory of things her parents or grandparents told her. I know mine told me some things that keep coming to mind today. You can do this without mentioning prepping and maybe a light will go on in her head at some point.
My grandmother told me that when she was a little girl they had one bowl of potato soup a day and had to go to bed immediately after eating it so they could get to sleep. If they waited, they could not get to sleep once the hunger set back in.
My dad told me of everyone's family garden in their apartment yard as a kid in Milwaukee.
You should be proud of being awake and aware. Most young people today are not. If you were my son I would be proud of you!
and yeah she knows some stuff like the normal "Power goes out for a week" kinda stuff, she just doesn't get into the "They just banned all Semi Auto rifles, time for 1776!" or "Russian Tzar Bomb just got dropped on DC, it's time to move out of the path of the Radiation" Kinda stuff LolHaven't but I just might.. mostly the Bible some other Holy Books looking for how to best deal with people.. what is fair or just
One day I sort of realized that God handed down how to behave on a bugout to some folks escaping Egypt, that he apparently didn't think they need when they lived under pharaohs law. I can see a parallel with society collapsing and folks bugging out.
and stuff like this http://biblehub.com/proverbs/16-11.htm
Just trying to get it right, More Jesus NT than OT .. Figure I will need all the help I can get to survive... so please , with God's help, ya know? I might make it, better with than without.. who knows " God's Help" might be the wisdom in the Bible itself. Doesn't mean I don't work on my skills .. I do. God helps those who help themselves. Playin it straight and trying to do it right might even bring a little Divine providence .. seem to work for the founding fathers and some of them were no saints.. so I might still be eligible :scratch
One day I sort of realized that God handed down how to behave on a bugout to some folks escaping Egypt, that he apparently didn't think they need when they lived under pharaohs law. I can see a parallel with society collapsing and folks bugging out.
and stuff like this http://biblehub.com/proverbs/16-11.htm
Just trying to get it right, More Jesus NT than OT .. Figure I will need all the help I can get to survive... so please , with God's help, ya know? I might make it, better with than without.. who knows " God's Help" might be the wisdom in the Bible itself. Doesn't mean I don't work on my skills .. I do. God helps those who help themselves. Playin it straight and trying to do it right might even bring a little Divine providence .. seem to work for the founding fathers and some of them were no saints.. so I might still be eligible :scratch
i live by these sayings.mainly the last one..but yet.i dont and wont prepare for those outside of my home..so if any family member or someone else,wants to move in,and/or want food n drink..then they better bring plenty to the table..and they'll continue to do without if they dont..i know that sounds heartless or what ever..but im not here to support others..
"Remember; when disaster strikes, the time to prepare has passed."-- Steven Cyros
"It is easier to prepare and prevent, than it is to repair and repent."-- Anonymous
"Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable."-- George S. Patton
"It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow."-- Aesop
"Preparation through education is less costly than learning through tragedy."-- Max Mayfield, Director National Hurricane Center
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."-- 1 Timothy 5:8
"Remember; when disaster strikes, the time to prepare has passed."-- Steven Cyros
"It is easier to prepare and prevent, than it is to repair and repent."-- Anonymous
"Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable."-- George S. Patton
"It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow."-- Aesop
"Preparation through education is less costly than learning through tragedy."-- Max Mayfield, Director National Hurricane Center
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."-- 1 Timothy 5:8
I fear that handing out food will bring the same people back and that they will bring others with them or just tell others where I am and that I have provisions. I can help some but I can't feed the world.
My plan is to find a local church with a soup kitchen or other food program and donate to that. I will direct anyone that comes to my door to that church. The Mormon Church is ten minutes away and their cannery is about a half an hour from here. They currently run a food bank out of the cannery.
My immediate neighbors are another issue. I am slowly building friendships with them with the idea that they will become allies. These neighbors and certain friends may receive direct aid.
My plan is to find a local church with a soup kitchen or other food program and donate to that. I will direct anyone that comes to my door to that church. The Mormon Church is ten minutes away and their cannery is about a half an hour from here. They currently run a food bank out of the cannery.
My immediate neighbors are another issue. I am slowly building friendships with them with the idea that they will become allies. These neighbors and certain friends may receive direct aid.
First she is your mom so she will always be smarter & know more than her little child dose.
Two there is very little proof you are right about a major change happening & million of people not having enough food to eat & die in the USA(which dose not make you wrong).
This is called seeing the other persons point of view.
It is always easier for the child to see the parents P O V, then the parent to see the child's POV.
I know because I am BOTH a parent & a child of a parent.
So hang in there & do your best & love them anyways.
Two there is very little proof you are right about a major change happening & million of people not having enough food to eat & die in the USA(which dose not make you wrong).
This is called seeing the other persons point of view.
It is always easier for the child to see the parents P O V, then the parent to see the child's POV.
I know because I am BOTH a parent & a child of a parent.
So hang in there & do your best & love them anyways.
Ignorant Parents
The best way to deal with ignorant parents is to move out of their basement
The best way to deal with ignorant parents is to move out of their basement
Hi and welcome Nov.9 I'm Nov.1 but many years further down the road than you.
There is a saying ' too bad youth is wasted on the young'. I'll add to that ' too bad some people never grow up.
Hang in there lots of good info here. :wave:
There is a saying ' too bad youth is wasted on the young'. I'll add to that ' too bad some people never grow up.
Hang in there lots of good info here. :wave:
I'm Nov 2nd and also years older than Nov 9th but younger than you.Hi and welcome Nov.9 I'm Nov.1 but many years further down the road than you.
There is a saying ' too bad youth is wasted on the young'. I'll add to that ' too bad some people never grow up.
Hang in there lots of good info here. :wave:
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