Had one of the worst/strangest gigs yesterday

Discussion in 'General Chit-Chat' started by OldFashionedMama, Aug 8, 2010.

  1. OldFashionedMama

    OldFashionedMama Partyin' like it's 1699

    Hubby and I got called to play a wedding ceremony a few weeks ago at a church about an hour north of where we live. It was way out in the middle of nowhere, really beautiful area. Church looked real nice on the outside, we're thinking okay normal average wedding.....oooh boy we were wrong. To start, the bride was the daughter of the pastor at this church and HE was performing the ceremony! Sorry but being married by my dad just seems odd...but then it gets worse. The guy who hired us, someone we do a lot of gigs with, had sent them a list of our music so they could pick out what they wanted for different moments, like seating the mothers, flower girl, processional, etc.... Yesterday we learned why you don't give the music list to country folk-they picked music that seriously did not work with the ceremony at all. Since it was the pastor's daughter getting married, the whole dang church was there for this ceremony-it took FOREVER to get everyone seated.
    Finally the ceremony begins and we get to take a "break". This is when it got WEIRD. No not weird....CREEPY. The pastor, who is an emotional trainwreck and stumbling all over his words, goes into a huge speech about the history of why the father and mother present the bride to be "given', etc etc...and starts PREACHING the virtues of presenting a "pure virgin bride". As I reach over towards my violin case because I felt like I needed to puke, this pastor announces to everyone how PROUD he is to present a PURE VIRGIN BRIDE :eek: I bet he was one of those sickos that made his daughter go to the doctor and have an exam performed. I felt sorry and relieved for the girl at the same time-thank god she's getting married and hopefully getting far far away from this creep.
    Needless to say when it was all over, we took our checks and booked it out of that place. I've done a lot of different stuff over the years but this was one gig to remember. Totally creepy!!!
  2. CVORNurse

    CVORNurse Well-Known Member

    Well, I think if my daddy were a preacher, I would only want him to perform the ceremony. Have know people who were married by their gradfather before, and my son and DIL were married by her uncle( with her mom there, but not me. Still hold it against them)
    The rest does seem weird. Even to a country girl who secretly kinda hopes her girls have very simple weddings, cause she doesnt have a clue how to do any of this.

  3. gypsysue

    gypsysue The wanderer

    Pastors performing the ceremonies for their children isn't all that unusal. I've seen it many times, including 3 times in our own family, but then...we're country folk!

    I imagine the song lists at many of the weddings I've been to in Montana, and when we lived in Kentucky, would have appalled you as well.

    It might have been weird to emphasize the "pure virgin" thing, but not a bad virtue to have, and I'm sure very rare in these days. And for all you know, the bride might have been snickering inside, thinking what all dear ole daddy didn't know!

    If the pastor is normally an "emotional trainwreck" or knew he would be one at an emotional event such as his daughter's wedding, he should have passed on the honor of officiating at it. Perhaps he didn't expect to become so emotional.

    It seems to me you don't have a lot of experience out of your comfort zone... Sorry it was so freaky for you.
  4. backlash

    backlash Well-Known Member

  5. OldFashionedMama

    OldFashionedMama Partyin' like it's 1699


    I listen to just about every kind of music there is. I think the problem with this particular setup, and I plan on speaking with the leader of our group about it, was a list that he provided for them. It did not include all of our repertoire, and it also did not specify which pieces can be used for each specific part of the ceremony-it was just a big list of all the songs we play. This was rather disastrous, as we found out. It's actually rare for people to request a list or even to be as specific as these people were. Normally they leave it up to us to plan the music for the ceremony. Why? Because we're professionals LOL! So to avoid this in the future, I'm proposing we send a revised list with songs divided into different categories, thus avoiding a musical free-for-all. It doesn't even have to be the standard classical pieces. We've done a number of weddings and shows where people only wanted popular tunes played. The leader does fantastic arrangements, and all you gotta do is tell us what song you want and he'll write it up and we play it.

    I also suspected that perhaps the bride was not as pure as daddy thought she was-but who knows LOL!

    In any case, I think making a huge deal out of her purity was kind of strange and perhaps embarassing-but that ties into my own beliefs about all of that. And believe me, I have plenty of experience out of my comfort zone-this was unique for sure but not unusual.
  6. OldFashionedMama

    OldFashionedMama Partyin' like it's 1699

    This was FAR from simple. They had this church decked out like Christmas time, it was quite beautiful. They strung 3000 white lights with white netting and flowers across the ceiling of the worship center, hung fancy curtains on the doorways, had little lampposts with real candles going down the aisle, huge candleabras on the altar with still more flowers, and a grand piano off to the side that was completely covered with various sizes of lit white candles. The bride's dress was awesome-traditional style with lots of beads and rhinestones, her bouquet was one of the best I'd ever seen. The leader of our group was headed off to their reception to play with his jazz trio, and the reception was being held at one of the most expensive places around.

    My lil sister and brother in law had a simple country wedding. Got married in a barn (its actually a barn that was turned into a church), had their reception at our parents' place. I had a big ridiculous wedding, and after seeing theirs I was kinda jealous. I wish mine would've been simpler. Sure would have been cheaper!
  7. gypsysue

    gypsysue The wanderer

    The other thing that has me scratching my head is that the bride & groom were given a list of songs!

    Every wedding I've been part of (as friend or as family) the bride & groom picked the music, and it was usually their favorites or traditional songs they liked.

    I, too, am a musician (primarily piano, violin, and guitar) and I have played for weddings and sang for them. It was always whatever the bride and groom requested, and a few times I had to learn the music/songs. I don't do it professionally, though, and few of the weddings I've been to or been part of have been extremely "formal", so that might be the difference. We're talking a lot of low-budget affairs, but then, the po' folks got ta git hitched too! And they's been some mighty fun shin-digs!

    The main thing I hope is that the bride and goom are happy when they look back at their wedding. It's THEIR day, after all, and I hope no one in their family or among their guests (including Daddy himself) left bad memories for them. The bride is probably used to her Dad and will blow off his "speech"!
  8. gypsysue

    gypsysue The wanderer

    you posted just as I did!

    I see it was a rather formal event. So that blows my theory out of the water!
  9. OldFashionedMama

    OldFashionedMama Partyin' like it's 1699

    See what I mean about weirdest gig ever??? LOL!

    I don't think they really knew what music they wanted, and once they requested the list (again, something that is rare for couples to do. We'll provide one, but this time for some reason that didn't work out so well) they just said "Oooh that sounds nice, so we'll pick this song for the seating of the mothers!" Well, that piece they picked for seating the mothers just doesn't work well-its too long and too fast and I don't think they had any idea. The couples have to send us a copy of the final program so the group leader can prepare the books and have us practice if there's any new stuff. (Our latest addition to the books is Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Someone requested it last summer and we've gotten TONS of requests for it ever since.)

    Just stick to the basics, people. Don't get all crazy on us-and if you aren't sure about something for pete's sake pick up the phone and call us!! I'm waiting for someone to request a Star Wars wedding....My husband and I have toyed with the idea of investing in electric violins and possibly carving out a new niche for ourselves. We'd be able to play larger venues if we had them with good amps...we could be all futuristic and stuff LOL!

    I guess this wasn't the worst gig ever...I got called to play with a dance/swing band out of Cleveland. By the time us string players arrived, the rest of the band was well on their way to being trashed. they tossed a huge book of music on our stands, handwritten chicken-scratch with a few notes here and there. All the rest was up to us to improvise and fill in. We were crammed on a tiny stage, sitting in the back of it with the brass guys in front of us. All I gotta say is thank God my mother had me listening to Michael Jackson's Thriller and Kool and the Gang when I was a kid :eek:
  10. Genevieve

    Genevieve I'm done - gone


    I have always thought that it would be nice to be able to marry people. Thanx for the link
  11. mosquitomountainman

    mosquitomountainman I invented the internet. :rofl:

    Many state requirements for performing marriage ceremonies are very lenient as I believe they should be. Why should it take special training to officiate at a wedding? Once the legal paperwork is signed what does it matter who did the ceremony? For that matter, why should the government be involved in deciding who should be able to get married? Pass some laws to protect minor children from exploitation and get the government out of the marriage approval business.
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  12. HozayBuck

    HozayBuck Well-Known Member

    Gettin hitched in Montana

    When I was engaged in the sport of Cowboy action shooting I used the handle "Rev Doom" , now rest assured I ain't no Reverend... never , nope...when I go to church I sit in a meadow on a boulder in the sun light and the birds furnishing the music and I talk to God, some times he talks back... I don't do it often but when I need to... I just sit down and holler HAY GOD!! I need to talk to you, I usually here the sound of laughter followed by " Boy you sure do and you in a heap o trouble..". anyway, we get along pretty good, usually I tell him my problem and he says well what do you think you should do and I tell him and he laughs and says " Now was that so hard"?

    Anyway when my good friends decided to get married and stop living in fun they asked me to perform the service...!!!!... well it seems that MT law says you can have anybody marry you as long as you agree to give them your permission.. so I did, signed the Lic with my real name and " AKA Rev Doom, they filed it and everybody was happy... hell they've lasted longer then mine did!! lol

    BUT !! I oppose the idea of having to get a Lic from the state to marry.. that's just a tax and an unfair one at that... the Gov ain't got no business in you marriage your home or your bed...