Oh Rick, I'm so so sorry. I know it's too soon, but we're here if you want to talk or PM me. When you can, we would like to know what happened. Again, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear wife.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm a widower too. My first wife died after a series of illnesses related to kidney disease in 1992 when she was 30. The first year was the hardest. I had times when I didn't think I would make it. I eventually recovered enough to remarry but it was really, really hard.
What helped me was keeping a journal on my computer of my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to write things out while I still remembered them. It helped me to organize my thoughts and put them down. It wasn't as good as talking to someone but a lot of what I was feeling were things I didn't want to share with anyone else.