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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I saw this on another forum and thought I'd share it.

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark. "OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a sprinkler system.

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board.

"Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls.

"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.

"Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filling out an environmental impact statement on Your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the Supreme Being. Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!

"Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire. The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord. "The government already has."
 

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But when Noah did build the Ark and started loading it with 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 lions, 2 turtles, 2 robbins, 2rabbits, 4 rabbits, 8 rabbits, 16 rabbits, 32 rabbits, HEY Somebody tell those rabbits to cut that out.:D


.....and remember boysand girls, Noahs Ark was built by amitures, The Titanic was built by Professionals!:eek:
 

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But when Noah did build the Ark and started loading it with 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 lions, 2 turtles, 2 robbins, 2rabbits, 4 rabbits, 8 rabbits, 16 rabbits, 32 rabbits, HEY Somebody tell those rabbits to cut that out.:D

.....and remember boysand girls, Noahs Ark was built by amitures, The Titanic was built by Professionals!:eek:
Hey Sailaway how are your Ark plans coming. Are you planning to start with 2 Sailaways, then 4, then 8....:woohoo:
 

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Well Bunkerbob, I've got problems, I will be 50 this year and my 2nd mate lets say is a little older. 8 years ago when she decided she wanted to be my galley wench I also took on her crew of 3 briney little tars. The Oldest one ran off with her med school study buddy and had a future midshipman (woman) for me. Needless to say my ship is now too small to accomadate the crew. I could use something with a few more seabirths, and my plundering days are pretty much over with.:gaah::D
 

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Aaaarrrrrrrr!!! One is never too old to plunder!!!!
Aaaarrrrrr your right Expeditioner, and I also know it's easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission from the 1st mate! Aaaarrrr.
 

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Does anyone have a blueprint or plans for an Ark, I will be needing one here fairly soon, if it doesn't stop raining.:rolleyes:
I think that I might ... somewhere in Genesis if I remember correctly :scratch
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Does anyone have a blueprint or plans for an Ark, I will be needing one here fairly soon, if it doesn't stop raining.:rolleyes:
:google: :)

Oh, by the way Bob Sunny and 50* here the last couple days. I was out in a tee shirt. :wave:
 

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Quote from Unclejoe,

Quote:
Originally Posted by bunkerbob
70's today, again, shucks! how I miss the snow and cold weather. But it is getting overcast though.

"We don't like you anymore".
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And to the republic for which it used to stand

Hummmmm! Tit for Tat.
 

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Does anyone have a blueprint or plans for an Ark, I will be needing one here fairly soon, if it doesn't stop raining.:rolleyes:
Aaarrr.... How about a yellow submarine Bob.:D.....Aaarrrr....get back Jojo...the 60's are probably where you belong.....Aaaarrrrrrr!:D:ignore: Sail
 

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Sailaway, how about one of these...
Narco submarine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I wonder if our Govt will be auctioning off these like they do vehicles they confiscate from drug related raids.
Bob, I'd love one of those! Way back in the early 80's I almost bought a Taylor Commercial Sabmarine. It was used in the Disney Movie the Boatnicks. (1960's film) It was a wet dry sub and a story in itself. A narco sub would be fun; 1. I be the only kid on my block who had one. 2. I would paint it to look like that Land Shark (candy gram):ignore: or paint it to look like LEMMY the Lake Erie Monster. 3. Then I would chase other boats around Lake Erie, especially Home Land Security Boats.:eek: What fun, 4. I would probably have a hard time getting the 1st. mate to participate though. Sail
 
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