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Old 01-22-2017, 12:58 PM   #4601
Flight1630
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Lol at the March one



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Old 01-22-2017, 03:13 PM   #4602
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrackbottomLouis View Post
................................................
Saw a news story that the pro life groups had been uninvited. There could have been even more there. The ones on our "local" news were saying they were concerned about violence when they got there and how the police would react. Guess they didn't notice who was starting the trouble.


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Old 01-22-2017, 06:25 PM   #4603
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You know, that really made me mad. If it's all about women, what they are really saying is it's only about women that believe in abortion. I'm not wearing pink for a while.

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Old 01-22-2017, 11:38 PM   #4604
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Sign, Posters and clever sayings - General Chit-Chat
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Old Yesterday, 03:26 PM   #4605
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.........................

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I once met a man named Galt.
He said it didnt matter who was at fault.
The looters will loose and moochers be d*mn*d,
Because Ragnar has a Colt!

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Old Yesterday, 03:28 PM   #4606
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.................................................. ....................

File Type: jpg IMG_0771.jpg (35.4 KB, 30 views)
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I once met a man named Galt.
He said it didnt matter who was at fault.
The looters will loose and moochers be d*mn*d,
Because Ragnar has a Colt!

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Old Yesterday, 07:05 PM   #4607
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This guy lives where we live...in the real world!



From a military buddy...
Dear Hollywood celebrities,
It’s time to wake up now. Get this! The only reason you exist is for my entertainment. Some of you are beautiful. Some of you can deliver a line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes. Some of you are so convincing that you scare the crap out of me. And others are so funny you can make me laugh uncontrollably. And others make music that makes my toe tap and my body sway.
But you all have one thing in common. You only exist and have a place in my world to entertain me. That’s it. Nothing else!
You make your living pretending to be someone else. You play dress-up like a 5-year-old. Your world is a make believe world. It is not real. It doesn’t exist. You live for the camera and microphone, while the rest of us live in the real world. Your entire existence depends on my patronage. I crank the organ grinder, and you dance.
Therefore, I don’t care where you stand on issues. Honestly, your opinion means nothing to me. Just because you had a lead role in a movie about prostitution doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to be a prostitute Because you show a breast at a halftime football show while singing off key, doesn't make you a world spokesperson. Your view matters far less to me than that of a someone living in Timbuktu .
Believe me or not, the hard truth is that you aren’t real. I turn off my TV or shut down my computer or turn off my radio, and you cease to exist. Once I am done with you, I go back to the real world until I want you to entertain me again.
I don’t care that you think BP executives deserve the death penalty. I don’t care what you think about the environment. I don’t care if you believe fracking is bad. I don’t care if you call for more gun control. I don’t care if you believe in catastrophic human-induced global warming. And I could'nt care less that you supported Hillary for President. Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something pretty or scary or funny.
And one other thing. What was with all this “I’ll leave the country if Donald Trump wins”? Don’t you know how stupid that made you sound? What did you think my reaction was going to be? I better not vote for Trump or we’ll lose Whoopi Goldberg? Al Sharpton? Amy Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? or Barbara Striestand?And several more. Leave. I don’t care! And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out Oh by the way, is Clinton returning any of the money you so generously donated to her election?
Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me sing. Even scare me. But realize this, the only words of yours that matter are scripted — just like your pathetic little lives. I may agree with some of you from time to time, but in the final analysis, it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist solely for my entertainment.
Regards,

Paul


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Old Yesterday, 07:49 PM   #4608
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-

Only the Irish have Jokes Like These

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking
like he’d just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face
is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner,

" says Sean, "he couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
” Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

************************************************** ************************

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is
driving home from the city one night and, of course his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
" Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
” Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
”Did you know," say's the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thanks heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

************************************************** ***********************

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin'
to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where is my husband?”
”That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. "there was an accident down at the Guinness brewery…"
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did
he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee.”

************************************************** **********************

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My
husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'

************************************************** *****

AND THE BEST FOR LAST

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin', there's no
paper on this side either!"


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Old Today, 12:48 AM   #4609
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caribou View Post
This guy lives where we live...in the real world!



From a military buddy...
Dear Hollywood celebrities,
It’s time to wake up now. Get this! The only reason you exist is for my entertainment. Some of you are beautiful. Some of you can deliver a line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes. Some of you are so convincing that you scare the crap out of me. And others are so funny you can make me laugh uncontrollably. And others make music that makes my toe tap and my body sway.
But you all have one thing in common. You only exist and have a place in my world to entertain me. That’s it. Nothing else!
You make your living pretending to be someone else. You play dress-up like a 5-year-old. Your world is a make believe world. It is not real. It doesn’t exist. You live for the camera and microphone, while the rest of us live in the real world. Your entire existence depends on my patronage. I crank the organ grinder, and you dance.
Therefore, I don’t care where you stand on issues. Honestly, your opinion means nothing to me. Just because you had a lead role in a movie about prostitution doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to be a prostitute Because you show a breast at a halftime football show while singing off key, doesn't make you a world spokesperson. Your view matters far less to me than that of a someone living in Timbuktu .
Believe me or not, the hard truth is that you aren’t real. I turn off my TV or shut down my computer or turn off my radio, and you cease to exist. Once I am done with you, I go back to the real world until I want you to entertain me again.
I don’t care that you think BP executives deserve the death penalty. I don’t care what you think about the environment. I don’t care if you believe fracking is bad. I don’t care if you call for more gun control. I don’t care if you believe in catastrophic human-induced global warming. And I could'nt care less that you supported Hillary for President. Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something pretty or scary or funny.
And one other thing. What was with all this “I’ll leave the country if Donald Trump wins”? Don’t you know how stupid that made you sound? What did you think my reaction was going to be? I better not vote for Trump or we’ll lose Whoopi Goldberg? Al Sharpton? Amy Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? or Barbara Striestand?And several more. Leave. I don’t care! And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out Oh by the way, is Clinton returning any of the money you so generously donated to her election?
Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me sing. Even scare me. But realize this, the only words of yours that matter are scripted — just like your pathetic little lives. I may agree with some of you from time to time, but in the final analysis, it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist solely for my entertainment.
Regards,

Paul
Now that is spot on!


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