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Joke Of The Day


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Old 05-08-2017, 01:33 PM   #2261
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Originally Posted by Pessimistic2 View Post
Breathalyzer Test for Blondes.....

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?"

"What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes." replied the officer

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher

"Uh... yes." replied the cop.

"Here's what you do." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."

"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"
...............


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Old 05-16-2017, 01:08 PM   #2262
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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.



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Old 05-16-2017, 03:46 PM   #2263
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"A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.""

"Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs!"

"Q: Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist?
A: Because you will get Jurasskicked."

"Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button."

"Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction."

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Old 05-19-2017, 12:02 PM   #2264
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I read that Caitlyn Jenner told Diane Sawyer she is now writing her autobiography.
I think that’s going to be one of those “he said, she said” books.

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